I’ve hit a breaking point. Everyone has been driving me mental with their blind trend following, bad internet etiquette and general stupidity for far too long and I’ve reached the end of my rope; thus, I think it’s time y’all heard the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth… So help you God.
Here is a carefully curated list of the top 10 things you seriously need to just STOP right now:
1. STOP with the fucking sneaker heels already – they were Isabel Marant’s one error in judgement. She’s moved on and so should you.
2. STOP with the unnecessary conversational texts. This is not MSN messenger and we are not still in high school. I literally don’t have the time for this shit anymore.
3. STOP hash-tagging if you don’t know how to do it properly. Hashtags were invented to track the popularity of certain topics, not to make your photo captions look pretty. Let me put it in layman’s terms for you: #i #love #my #girls #best #weekend #ever is STUPID. #mygirls and #maylongweekend may not be the most riveting tags, but at least they are TOPICS, unlike the word #best.
4. STOP taking pictures of your American Apparel outfits, posting them online and calling yourself a fashion blogger.
5. Gentlemen, STOP blasting rap/techno music in your car with all the windows down. Doing this has the same effect as wearing Christian Audigier apparel.
6. Ladies, start a bon fire – toss Herve Leger dresses and “sky high” Christian Louboutins in said fire.
7. STOP pretending to be philosophical by posting inspirational quotes from books you’ve never read. You’re not fooling anyone.
8. STOP taking pictures of unstyled food and calling it “#foodporn” – believe me, your meatloaf and mashed potatoes looks more disgusting on camera than it does in person. Keep that to yourself.
9. STOP abbreviating Happy Birthday. Wishing someone a “HBD” is a great way of telling them they’re not worth the energy required to type 13 letters… ON THEIR BIRTHDAY. Rude.
10. STOP with the bad spelling and grammar. If you don’t know, GOOGLE. And while you’re at it, count your lucky stars that you no longer have to look shit up IN AN ACTUAL DICTIONARY.
Well that sure felt good!
What would you add to the list? Comments are always welcome (unless your grammar sucks).