When we were younger, we all experienced those “total end of the world”, “worst thing ever”, “why me”, “I hate you mom”, childhood tragedies that we were sure we would NEVER get over. Oh the tears we shed. It must have been tens or hundreds of thousands!
Luckily those days are over. We’re older now, AND we’re wiser. We scoff at children throwing tantrums at Walmart; we deal with REAL problems, not playground shenanigans; we don’t cry over spilled milk… But honestly, if you knock a full double whiskey on the rocks out of my hand at the bar, I may or may not feel a knot in my throat and tears may or may not flush my eyes.
So, wait. Has as much changed as we thought it has? Are we just re-experiencing these futile tragedies 2 decades down the road and calling them “grown up problems”?
Here is a list of 10 (young) adult equivalents to childhood tragedies that will make you feel like you’re still crying over spilled milk:
Being broke = Getting grounded
Taking clients out = Being forced to play with your parents’ friends’ kids
Last call = Mom yelling at you to quit playing and come inside
Quitting smoking = Getting weaned off a soother
Spilling a cocktail = Letting go of a helium balloon
Forgetting your work presentation at home = Forgetting to bring a toy in the bath
Liver cleanse = Time out
Finding out that sugar is responsible for your wicked hangover = Finding out Santa isn’t real
Being expected to know how to use Microsoft Exel = Being expected to understand long division in grade 3
Puking out of a cab door = Peeing your pants on a bus
The moral of the story is that we should be thankful for the experiences of those faithful childhood tragedies. They prepared us for the equally futile tragedies of early adulthood and at the very least, prevented us from bursting into tears at last call.
*the photo accompanying this post is by Jill Greenberg from a series called “End Times”