THE 10 PEOPLE PARENTS HATE MOST 

Becoming a parent will inevitably bring about a plethora of fascinating changes to the way you interact with the world around you. You’ll be more patient, more understanding, more empathetic, and you may also find that you’ll develop a deep hatred for people to whom you had never previously given any thought whatsoever. Here are…

WE’RE BRINGING SELF-ESTEEM BACK (YEAH!)

On Monday, we held our first ever speaking engagement (!!!) at SLMG, and since we’re admittedly completely unqualified to speak as “parenting experts,” we decided to talk about something that we are (more or less) experts on: The experience of early motherhood. A study performed by a team of Norwegian researchers (summarized here) recently revealed what…

NO. 2

Erica: “I mean, I would describe it on a sliding scale between chartreuse and cognac” Dr. H: “I’m a pediatrician, I don’t know what that means. Is his poop green or brown?” Erica: “Oh sorry. Yes; orangey, brownish green” Feces. Shit. Number Two. Aside from birth and death, defecation is one of the main functions…

HFM: THE NEW CLAP

Chances are you remember that episode of Sex and The City where Miranda finds out she has an STD and has to make a list of all of the people she’s slept with, only to have to turn around and call them all to let them know the horrifying news that they too need to…

THE MOST SURPRISING THING ABOUT NEWBORNS

If you’re a soon-to-be parent, may we kindly suggest that you take everything you thought you knew about newborns and just gently toss it all out the window? Trust us when we tell you that fresh-out-the-womb humans throw a lot more curve balls than one would expect from something so seemingly harmless. Our newborns came…

TELL US HOW YOU REALLY FEEL

We mamas are master actors. Seriously, you should see me feign excitement at the park when my 3-year-old pulls the “BIGGEST WORM IN THE WORLD” out of the dirt. That’s all just part of the gig, though. When our kids are little, we to pretend that life is fair, that people are kind, that decency…

SOLO TRAVEL (2.O)

I’m an only parent. I say “only” because “single parent” implies that there is a second single parent somewhere hidden from view who is sharing the work load. But there’s just me. And before I became an only parent, I was solo-traveler. This is mostly a woman’s game, this solo-traveling thing. See the world, find…

I’M STILL REALLY COOL

Do you feel old? Age is strange; you always feel the same (it’s still me in here guys!) and yet the world seems to slowly transition around you. The landscape begins to tilt somewhere in your early 30’s where cool music is no longer that cool and fashion feels like a language you once knew…

GUILT TRIP

A scenario: Your three-year-old is acting like a crazy and completely intolerable human being, dishing out physical and mental abuse at every opportunity, and being whinier than a Beyoncé song (sorry, had to). You reach your max and officially have zero fucks left to give by 7pm. The final straw? He throws a converter at…

DEAR ANXIETY

Dear Anxiety, I wasn’t expecting to see you, nor your more elusive sidekick, O.C.D. – but alas, here we are. Considering the “Baby Blues” I suffered through during my first trimester, I was prepared for hormones to deliver a classic case of PPD following the birth of our Dear Otis. Instead, my postpartum infliction has…

CRY THAT SHIT OUT (IF YOU WANT)

Let me begin by declaring that I have zero intention of actually participating in this stupid debate.  Whether or not you decide to sleep train your kids is not my problem and I thank God for that everyday because I’ve got my own fucking problems.  All I can speak to is my own experience. For…

THE ONLY WAY TO MOM AND YOGA

You may or may not know, but I recently had a baby and I’ve desperately been trying to get back into my yoga practice. It’s not going so well. Being a single mom, means I’m with my daughter all the time. She also refuses to take a bottle, no matter what I have tried, so…