HOW TO (NOT) BE A PERFECT MOM

This article was originally written (by us) for and published by Pie Face Kids Magazine. It has been reposted here with their permission. * HOW TO (NOT) BE A PERFECT MOM Step 1: Get pregnant. This will be the most fun-for-fun’s-sake part of this entire exercise, so do yourself a favour and make a mental…

NON-TOXIC SKINCARE: A RUNDOWN BY S.O.S.

Let us formally introduce you to the ladies of S.O.S. (Soap on Skin): our girls, Holly and Sofia. They’re a pair of not-quite Rebel Mamas who are obsessed with skincare and cosmetics and speak to it from a “clean” perspective (without being preachy A-holes. #bless). They run an Instagram account that we adore (@soaponskin) where…

THE GREAT (RIDICULOUS) FORMULA DEBATE

I didn’t have an easy time with my first. My husband and I called it The Dark Ages – and for good reason. She cried all the fucking time. Twenty hours a day. Every day. For three eternal months. I had a hard labour, pushed for two hours, and wanted to die from the pain…

DEAR AMANDA

Dear Amanda, We have never met and probably never will. This note to the ex-girlfriend thing has been done before – it’s tired and unoriginal – regardless, I had to write to you. Today while my baby napped, my husband and I slow danced in our kitchen to Mazzy Star’s “Fade Into You.” While we…

MOM BRAIN

Oh, you didn’t know it was a scientific term? Well, it isn’t. BUT IT SHOULD BE. As you may already know (or will shortly find out), you don’t only lose your marbles while pregnant… as it turns out, even years after bringing baby into the world, you still somehow manage to forget where you left…

HUNGOVER PARENTING

When you finally make it out of the house for (some strange version of) a night of good old-fashioned debauchery (Woo! MOMS NIGHT OUT), you’ll mostly likely have the best time ever. What follows though, may easily be the worst 24 hours of your adult life… Your baby will most definitely wake earlier than usual…

A GUIDE TO TEMPORARY CHILD ABANDONMENT

Yes, we all love our little ones very much; however, we strongly believe that sometimes the best thing we can do for our families (and, of course, for ourselves) is to ditch the offspring in favour of an evening off – a night to reconnect with friends, to remember why we chose our spouses, or…

FAT MOM

I have this distinct memory of my mother putting on pantyhose. It wasn’t like the women in the movies; slow, smooth and sensual. It was awkward and cumbersome. She would sit on the bed, with one thigh on the mattress, supporting her weight as she wrangled her other leg into a scrunched up elastic foot,…

THE MOM DIET

THERE’S A NEW DIET THAT’S TAKEN THE NATION BY STORM… THE MOM DIET! DO YOU HATE EATING WARM MEALS? THINK NUTRIENTS ARE FOR LOSERS? HAVE YOU ALWAYS DREAMED OF A MOM BOD, BUT DIDN’T KNOW WHERE TO START? THEN THIS IS THE DIET FOR YOU! WHETHER YOU HAVE A NEWBORN, A BABY, A TODDLER, OR…

ALL THE TRAVEL TIPS WE’VE GOT

It’s about that time of year when everyone is toying with the idea of getting the fuck outta the Great White North… but air travel with babies and toddlers can seem like far too daunting a task to undertake – especially for first timers. Our advice? If you’ve got the time and the means, JUST…

WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT… DEATH

Moms: The Undercover Queens of Morbid Thoughts. Sure, we might always be the first to reassure everyone else that there’s nothing to worry about and that everything’s going to be ok, but our internal dialogue? Oh dude – Stephen King ain’t got nothing on us. Why do you think we’re always going in to “check…