WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT… DEATH

Moms: The Undercover Queens of Morbid Thoughts. Sure, we might always be the first to reassure everyone else that there’s nothing to worry about and that everything’s going to be ok, but our internal dialogue? Oh dude – Stephen King ain’t got nothing on us. Why do you think we’re always going in to “check…

HOW TO NOT BE A JUDGEMENTAL COW

It’s really easy to judge another parent. But being a judgmental cow is a bad look. No good comes of it for any party involved. So why bother? Do you seriously care that much about other people’s kids? Or is it your own kids you’re really worried about? Is your judgement a reflection of your own…

THE SINGLE MOM YOU THINK YOU KNOW

(SUBMITTED ANONYMOUSLY. APPRECIATED IMMENSELY. ) * I’m the Queen of Words and I’m the Queen of Broken Hearts. I am the Queen of feeling too much and the Queen of squirrelling away my pain so I appear unbreakable. I know many women like me, but we hide our feelings (and our tears) and put on…

10 REASONS WHY MOMS HATE THE HOLIDAYS

Moms don’t hate the holidays ALL the time; we just hate the holidays most of the time. Why? Because malls. Mall parking lots. Mall food. Mall people. Because none of our clothes fit right now (because wine and because carbs). Because accidental holiday party drunkenness keeps resulting in pumping and goddamn dumping. Because we’ve blown…

REBEL MAMA REAL TALK PT.4

Us mamas deal with a lot of bullshit – that much we know is true. And if there’s one thing that helps us get through it all (pseudo) alive, it’s a kick ass sense of humour (and coffee, ok and wine, alright and sometimes a Belmont or two). But through unfiltered sarcasm, wit and laughter,…

PATIENCE IS A (MOTHERS?) VIRTUE

Is it just me, or are some guys, like, one thousand percent less patient with their kids – specifically of the three-year-old variety – than their female partners in procreation? Without sounding like an ungrateful witch (because I do, in fact, appreciate my husband who happens to be extremely patient with me….) or coming off…

TO THE RUNNER OF SHIT

To the photo taker, The memory maker; The kisser of boo-boos, And The fretter about poo-poos.   To The planner, The baker, The temperature-taker; The yeller, The cryer, The        “Cos I said so, that’s why”                                  …

VIVE LA REBEL AUNTY

When it comes to our overall sanity, there are a few people who work their asses off behind the scenes to ensure that we’re always keeping it 100. We call these people: The Rebel Aunties. They’re the girls who went out of their ways to come see us when our babies were tiny and we…

A SIMPLE LESSON

Since the beginning, we have been clear with friends, family (and the entire internet, for that matter) that we actually have no idea what the hell we’re doing insofar as “raising” our son is concerned. Like most parents, we just fly by the seat of our pants, do the best we can, and hope the…

HFM: THE NEW CLAP

Chances are you remember that episode of Sex and The City where Miranda finds out she has an STD and has to make a list of all of the people she’s slept with, only to have to turn around and call them all to let them know the horrifying news that they too need to…

TAKE YOUR REPORT CARDS AND SHOVE ‘EM

My child is a round peg in a square hole. He is not the least bit interested in conformity. He is quirky and hilarious and incredibly bright and every single year he gets horrible grades on his report card. Let me explain. My son is going into grade four so by no means is this…

THE THREENAGER

At some point every day, without rhyme or reason, my son goes from his fun-loving tickle-monster self to some kind of multiple-personality villain, or as my husband likes to refer to it as: being a little prick. Let’s see here… Defiance, rebellion, incessant whining. Taunting, scheming and little white lies. Random acts of violence, dramatic…