HYGGE WITH WHAT YOU HAVE IN 2019

You can’t deny that this is an awkward time of the year – right after Christmas holidays have wrapped. The tree has been tossed to the curb, and your once very cozy house suddenly feels empty, cold and depressing as hell with no signs of reprieve ’til Spring. So what can you do (aside from…

HOW TO GET FIVE GD MINUTES TO YOURSELF

Everyone with a young child has been in this scenario before: You’re unshowered and exhausted, in the middle of feeding your kid dinner (while simultaneously tackling endless loads of dishes and laundry), when your partner gets home and casually strolls right past you and into the bathroom. Seconds later, you hear the faint but distinct…

MAN FLU CLAIMS BILLIONTH BRAVE VICTIM

In a terrible milestone for a global scourge, Apocalyptical Male Influenza (commonly known as ‘man flu’) has officially claimed its 1 billionth brave victim. Of this year. This, despite the frantic efforts of the world’s best scientists to develop a cure for the debilitating ailment. The man who had the dubious distinction of becoming the…

A NOTE TO THE XMAS MAGIC MAKERS

As parents, we tend to overestimate our children’s depth of understanding. As a result, we spend a lot of time worrying (unnecessarily) about the minutia – especially during the holidays. Last Christmas, while procrastinating gift wrapping until the evening of December 24, I caught myself shoving the “From: Santa” wrapping paper deep down in the depths…

10 REASONS WHY MOMS HATE THE HOLIDAYS

Moms don’t hate the holidays ALL the time; we just hate the holidays most of the time. Why? Because malls. Mall parking lots. Mall food. Mall people. Because none of our clothes fit right now (because wine and because carbs). Because accidental holiday party drunkenness keeps resulting in pumping and goddamn dumping. Because we’ve blown…

DECODING MOMMY FORUM B.S.

I think all of us can recall the first time we found ourselves on a mommy forum. Did it not feel like  you’d entered an alternate universe where people talked about poop in code? DH, DD, LO, WTF ARE THESE WOMEN TALKING ABOUT?? I guess the logic is that by abbreviating EVERYTHING, you’re saving time. I…

REBEL MAMA REAL TALK PART FIVE

All the media we’ve garnered lately with our Handbook for (Cool) Moms has required us to explain what a “Rebel Mama” is – a lot. Normally we’ll launch into the elevator pitch, rife with phrases like: a woman who is unapologetically herself, one who doesn’t let society define who she is once she becomes a…