10 REASONS WHY MOMS HATE THE HOLIDAYS

Moms don’t hate the holidays ALL the time; we just hate the holidays most of the time. Why? Because malls. Mall parking lots. Mall food. Mall people. Because none of our clothes fit right now (because wine and because carbs). Because accidental holiday party drunkenness keeps resulting in pumping and goddamn dumping. Because we’ve blown…

HOSTEL TRAVEL WITH KIDS (YES, IT’S POSSIBLE)

Last time I checked, nobody wins the lottery when they have kids. This just in: kids actually take away from your disposable income not increase it. Yet the travel industry has a gaping hole between single 20-something, traveling the world on a shoestring and family travel at all-incusives. Suddenly you have kids and you’re expected…

A LOVE LETTER TO DADS

Three-year-olds are exceptional conversationalists. Sure, their base-level understanding of most things can sometimes be a source of parental confusion (and/or entertainment), but every once in awhile, a toddler can hit you with a statement so extraordinary, it feels like they’ve taken a pin and popped your already over-filled heart, causing an emotional fallout that starts…

MISSED CONNECTIONS

We were at the mom’s group in the junction. You were a plump red head with curly hair and pale skin. You were nursing your toddler with confidence and ease. I was an equally plump brunette with frizzy hair, running mascara, and lipstick on my teeth. I had baby vomit on my pilled black cotton…

WOMEN + WEED

Before you get all excited, you should know that this is not an opinion piece. We’re not writing to tell you how much we love weed. We’re not here to say that marijuana is the only thing that (safely) removes us from the overstuffed Rolodex that is our-brains-on-kids for long enough to actually chill when…

THINGS TO APPRECIATE WHILE YOUR KIDS ARE STILL YOUNG

By Melissa Hopper The first few years of parenthood can be tough. Little sleep, less patience, plus loads of dirty diapers and tears? Of course we sometimes daydream about the not-so-distant future. Imagine how awesome it’ll be when our kids can tie their own shoes and wipe their own butts?  Le sigh. But guess what?…

REBEL MAMA REAL TALK PT.4

Us mamas deal with a lot of bullshit – that much we know is true. And if there’s one thing that helps us get through it all (pseudo) alive, it’s a kick ass sense of humour (and coffee, ok and wine, alright and sometimes a Belmont or two). But through unfiltered sarcasm, wit and laughter,…

A HEARTY THANK YOU

Well, kids – we did it. We submitted the completed manuscript of our book to our publisher last week, and you know what? WE ARE PROUD AS SHIT OF IT! It is exactly what we had hoped it would be. It is a girlfriend’s guide to early motherhood. It’s all the stuff your mom and…

DAYLIGHT SAVINGS IS HORSESHIT

As I sit here, at 6:00pm, gazing out my window into the pitch black veil of night, I can’t fight the desire to track down the jackass who first dreamed up the concept of daylight savings and punch him right in the throat. I realize that in order to do that, I’d have to conjure…

PATIENCE IS A (MOTHERS?) VIRTUE

Is it just me, or are some guys, like, one thousand percent less patient with their kids – specifically of the three-year-old variety – than their female partners in procreation? Without sounding like an ungrateful witch (because I do, in fact, appreciate my husband who happens to be extremely patient with me….) or coming off…

WHAT MOM COLD?

Ladies, I would like to explore a severely undervalued skill that mothers have been secretly-not-so-secretly toting since babies were a thing, so basically, forever: working the mom cold.   Having been fully immersed in said phenomena for approximately 3 glorious weeks, I thought, ‘hmmm, this pattern looks awfully familiar….perhaps mom colds are actually a thing!’…

CHECKED OUT IN CALI

Of course I could have included my 3.5 year old son on this fairly last minute trip to California but why? Why? When I could sit peacefully on a five hour flight, watch a movie, drink wine, be productive as fuck with work, and take a magnificent and uninterrupted nap. Why? When I could check…