REBEL MAMA RESUMÉ

OBJECTIVE: To keep everyone happy and fucking quiet SKILLS: Diplomacy. All of the diplomacy. FLUENT IN MULTIPLE LANGUAGES INCLUDING GRUMBLING & “NINJA ALIEN” LEVEL 10 MULTITASKING & PROBLEM SOLVING. HARD CORE EFFICIENCY. HIGH TOLERANCE FOR: EXCRUCIATING SCREAMS, PROLONGED TORTURE-LEVEL WHINING, AND SMALL-TOY INJURIES. Able to locate good wine (and a sativa pen) in a hurry….

SH*T PREGNANT PEOPLE SAY

Pregnancy is no fucking joke – the constant aches and pains, the chronic digestive issues, the unfortunate lack of alcohol. It’s miraculous but it’s also weird AF. In just 40 weeks, women are faced with a slew of new and foreign experiences; experiences that compel them to say some pretty bizarre shit. If you’ve ever…

WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT… DEATH

Moms: The Undercover Queens of Morbid Thoughts. Sure, we might always be the first to reassure everyone else that there’s nothing to worry about and that everything’s going to be ok, but our internal dialogue? Oh dude – Stephen King ain’t got nothing on us. Why do you think we’re always going in to “check…

WE’RE BRINGING SELF-ESTEEM BACK (YEAH!)

On Monday, we held our first ever speaking engagement (!!!) at SLMG, and since we’re admittedly completely unqualified to speak as “parenting experts,” we decided to talk about something that we are (more or less) experts on: The experience of early motherhood. A study performed by a team of Norwegian researchers (summarized here) recently revealed what…

I’M STILL REALLY COOL

Do you feel old? Age is strange; you always feel the same (it’s still me in here guys!) and yet the world seems to slowly transition around you. The landscape begins to tilt somewhere in your early 30’s where cool music is no longer that cool and fashion feels like a language you once knew…

SLEEP DEPRIVATION FOR BEGINNERS

Meet Meg: She’s a lawyer, a writer, and an absolutely hysterical brand new mama to a 9-week-old boy. You may remember her as the girl who flipped the script and changed the game when she wrote the most genuine and raw piece about miscarriage the internet ever saw. We are super proud to welcome her…

THE UNSPOKEN TRUTH ABOUT TODDLERS

There’s something that parents of young children rarely like to admit, much less discuss (especially with their childless friends)… and it’s that toddlers are fucking crazy. As a mom of an almost-2-year-old, I’m forced to deal with an unpredictable, spatially unaware, politically incorrect little human day in and day out… Ok fine, “forced” is a…