THIS IS NOT A BOOK TOUR RECAP

I came here today to write a post about the second leg of our book tour: Chicago with a bonus 2-day-1-night stint in NYC*. I was going to tell you all about how wonderful our event was at Monica & Andy in Lincoln Park – about how awesome all the new mamas we met there…

HUNGOVER PARENTING

When you finally make it out of the house for (some strange version of) a night of good old-fashioned debauchery (Woo! MOMS NIGHT OUT), you’ll mostly likely have the best time ever. What follows though, may easily be the worst 24 hours of your adult life… Your baby will most definitely wake earlier than usual…

THE TOP TEN PARENTING QUOTES BY REBELLIOUS WOMEN

“Don’t tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won’t respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, ‘Melissa, you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep!’” – JOAN RIVERS “The informality of family life is a blessed condition that allows us all to become our…

THE SINGLE MOM YOU THINK YOU KNOW

(SUBMITTED ANONYMOUSLY. APPRECIATED IMMENSELY. ) * I’m the Queen of Words and I’m the Queen of Broken Hearts. I am the Queen of feeling too much and the Queen of squirrelling away my pain so I appear unbreakable. I know many women like me, but we hide our feelings (and our tears) and put on…

A LOVE LETTER TO DADS

Three-year-olds are exceptional conversationalists. Sure, their base-level understanding of most things can sometimes be a source of parental confusion (and/or entertainment), but every once in awhile, a toddler can hit you with a statement so extraordinary, it feels like they’ve taken a pin and popped your already over-filled heart, causing an emotional fallout that starts…

PATIENCE IS A (MOTHERS?) VIRTUE

Is it just me, or are some guys, like, one thousand percent less patient with their kids – specifically of the three-year-old variety – than their female partners in procreation? Without sounding like an ungrateful witch (because I do, in fact, appreciate my husband who happens to be extremely patient with me….) or coming off…

REGRETTING YOUR KIDS

It’s a hot topic these days with equal parts excitement that someone finally said something about this ultimate-taboo subject and (of course) mommy-shaming for daring to mention publicly, dare I even write it, regretting having your children. So, I’m here to bare all and fess up that I have regretted having my daughter for the last year…

DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?

Tuesday, April 4th, 2017 is a day that I won’t soon forget. It was one of those bizarre, twilight-zone, out-of-body-experience days, wherein I knew that something amazing was happening – but it was almost as though that amazing thing was happening in some other dimension. In real life, I was performing a series of my…

THE ALMIGHTY MOM

You know the one. Her shit don’t stink and her offspring is an ethereal, miracle, genius-baby that does the family taxes. She crowned herself the authority on all things motherhood, and became a child specialist overnight. The problem? She’s now on the other end of your phone/beside you on the couch, preaching her sleep-training methods…

POTTY TRAINING: DON’T BOTHER.

If you want my advice on potty training, here it is: DON’T BOTHER. Yes! Free yourselves! Fuck the books! Fuck the advice! Fuck the “well mine was potty trained at 9months” show-boaters! Fuck ‘em all! You know why? Because if you do it my way, your kid will literally do all the work for you….

A NON-EXTREMIST VEGETARIAN RANT

I wasn’t always a vegetarian. Contrary to popular opinion, not all vegetarians walk around offended at the state of food, rolling their eyes every time they encounter a meatball. In fact, there’s a good chance we used to love it. Now I’m mostly indifferent to people’s food choices, the same way I’m indifferent to things…

SOLID(S) ADVICE

We get a lot of recurring questions on our Rebel Mama community (cause you know, we only talk about sleep regressions, eating habits, and stool consistency) – and the one hot topic that always come up is SOLIDS. As in “What the f*ck do I start with, and where the hell do I get ideas…