THOSE PREGGO TEARS

Your hormones are a raging mess.
You’re tired. Annoyed. Hot. Cold.
All of it at the same time.
You exhibit murderous rage when you see an empty toilet paper roll.
You collapse on the floor in tears after an unfortunate spilled food incident.
You ugly cry during a commercial.
Any commercial.

Welcome to pregnancy! FUN RIGHT?

Recently, the rebel mamas weighed in on the wacky ass things that have made them cry while pregnant, and (as usual) its comedy gold. We won’t lie – some of these are warranted AF. And some of them, well… we’ll just let you get right into it.

You really can’t make this shit up.

CRAZY THINGS THAT HAVE MADE ME CRY
(The Pregnant Edition)

Cranberry juice being on sale
Purple Rain came on the radio. I had to pull over, I literally couldn’t see to drive.
My (now ex) husband didn’t make me a sandwich! I left the house in tears and went for a long drive.
I cried once right after giving birth because my car was making funny sounds. My dad came down to see the baby, he’s also a mechanic so I thought I would turn the car on for him to hear the sound. It didn’t make the sound and I broke out into tears. My dad felt so bad and didn’t know what to do!
My husband bought low-fat Sour Cream instead of full-fat.
One too many fire trucks drove by.
My perogies had freezer burn.
Because my husband built 5 garden boxes and not 3.
I was making my favourite peanut butter pie … went to add the cool whip and it was a bit frozen … bawled.
My husband brought home veal cutlets instead of chicken cutlets. I didn’t let that one go for a while…
I cried because I had to blow my nose but couldn’t stand the smell of Kleenex.
My husband ate the last pizza pocket.
My husband didn’t like his dinner at the restaurant for our anniversary when I was pregnant. I held it in until we left then stood on the street and cried in the rain.
I watched two seniors hold hands while crossing the street .. bawled.
Because I stepped on a stranger’s foot.
I cried because my husband finished his bottle of Coke and I wanted a sip… however I didn’t realize I wanted some until it was all gone.
I wanted poutine but it was too late.
I cried at the Mariah Carey concert because she loves her kids
I asked my husband for butter chicken and he came home with butter chicken but no naan bread. There were MANY tears.
Cried in the store when we were scanning things for the baby registry because my husband was scanning really girly things like Unicorns.
Seeing a puppy… in a beer commercial.
I cry every time someone good sings on the Voice. Or AGT. Or anywhere really.
I was telling my husband about a funny dream I had about our cat who was flying by propelling herself around our house by tooting.I went from laughing hysterically to sobbing uncontrollably in mere seconds.
Because I had such a great day and I didn’t want it to end since I didn’t know how I’d feel the next day.
Because McDonald’s was out of apple pie.
Because I ate a Cinnabon and it was so good.. I sat in the mall crying.
My boss told me eating ice cubes (craving) near the floor with no customers around was unprofessional. I fit a bunch in my mouth and threw the cup in the garbage and left for an early lunch crying.
I cried because I didn’t like the smell of my deodorant… and then I puked because I smelled my own armpit.
I can’t get through “The Giving Tree”. Not white pregnant and still can’t do it without crying at 7 months postpartum.
I cried once because my husband farted in bed and it smelled so bad that I balled, like as if someone died crying.
My husband ate the last bagel the other day. I almost killed him! Don’t they know to never eat the last anything when your wife is pregnant!
Once, while at a friend’s for game night, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom to give myself a pep talk in the mirror that I was absolutely NOT going to cry over a board game (whilst crying a little).
Waterworks because my husband said, “Easy, Thor” after I smashed a hole into our freshly purchased Ikea bookshelf while assembling it.
I spilled my son’s nap time bottle on the floor and it was the last milk of any kind we had in the house.I literally cried over spilled milk.
A stranger’s birthday party at Boston Pizza and the staff was singing.
I cried for hours after driving by people at the bus stop.
I cried to the song, “if you like pina coladas and getting lost in the rain”.
I had a sudden strong craving for raspberry lemon sorbet in my first trimester. My partner said he wouldn’t know where to even get something so specific. I threw myself on the bed wailing, “I just need something to cleanse my palette!! I NEED lemon raspberry sorbet NOW!! P.S. found a tub at Farm Boy!
Sobbed at the NCAA draft picks. When those boys talked about their moms – ugly weeping… didn’t know at the time we were having a boy.
I cried because I was so proud of how far Justin Bieber has come.
I asked for a McDonalds Breakfast sandwich with a hashbrown and my husband brought home a Tim’s sandwich with a hash brown. I angry cried.
My husband ate the last piece of bread and I literally fell to the ground and started sobbing. This was 3.5 years ago and he won’t let me live it down.
My chiropractor said “Hi! How are you?”
Godzilla. The one that came out in 2015..balled in the middle of a packed theater…”SHE’S JUST TRYING TO HELP AND PROTECT HER BABIES BUT EVERYONE KEEPS SHOOTING HER”.
My partner brought me the wrong chicken sandwich from A&W. I asked for a Chubby Chicken and he came home with the small chicken sandwich from the snack deals menu. I bawled my eyes out and refused to eat it.
Because I tried to kick my panties into the laundry basket and I missed and then I bent down to pick them up and peed on the floor….. my husband laughed I cried!
A cardboard box touched me leg and scared me.
When my husband was trying to get a rat problem under control, and he witnessed a mom rat and her babies nursing from her (in our front planter)…and told me. I was fucking traumatized when the mom rat ran off leaving her babies to die without her.
I didn’t have enough almond milk to make smoothies AND for our coffees lol …
I accidentally killed a bee while sweeping the floor, ugly cried.
I spent like an hour picking out a scented candle couldn’t decide the smell I wanted… got home, lit it & my husband made a comment about not liking the smell and I CRIED AND CRIED!
I dropped my bowl of pasta
I laughed… then I peed. Then I cried cause I peed myself.
Two days PP I cried cause I thought the dogs looked depressed.
I cried because i couldn’t get my shoes on.
I fuckin sobbed watching little mermaid.
I dropped my dairy queen blizzard … it didn’t even spill.

As usual, we are here to remind you that although motherhood may not always be roses, we can collectively get through it by laughing our asses off at the next-level shit show that unravels soon after a positive pregnancy test.

xx RM

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