A NOTE TO THE XMAS MAGIC MAKERS

As parents, we tend to overestimate our children’s depth of understanding. As a result, we spend a lot of time worrying (unnecessarily) about the minutia – especially during the holidays. Last Christmas, while procrastinating gift wrapping until the evening of December 24, I caught myself shoving the “From: Santa” wrapping paper deep down in the depths…

10 REASONS WHY MOMS HATE THE HOLIDAYS

Moms don’t hate the holidays ALL the time; we just hate the holidays most of the time. Why? Because malls. Mall parking lots. Mall food. Mall people. Because none of our clothes fit right now (because wine and because carbs). Because accidental holiday party drunkenness keeps resulting in pumping and goddamn dumping. Because we’ve blown…

THREE GIFT IDEAS THAT DON’T SUCK

Okay folks, the holidays are coming and I know, like me, you are looking for something cool and interesting you can buy your kids that doesn’t make noise, doesn’t have a thousand pieces, and doesn’t break the bank. I always like looking for gifts that are educational and will keep my ever-curious kids entertained and…

LET HER HEAL

The transformation from maidenhood to motherhood is one that is too often taken too lightly.  It involves incomparable physical pain, indescribable emotional stress, and trauma that tends to be brushed off by outsiders as ‘normal’ and as a result, is either ignored or quickly forgotten.  But a mother doesn’t forget – not right away, at…

SLEEP TRAINING, BREASTFEEDING, AND MINDING YOUR OWN DAMN BUSINESS

A new, comprehensive, scientific study has just been released that proves that persons who sleep train their children and those who co-sleep with their children can both be equally good/loving/capable parents. In a shocking discovery, information has surfaced proving that every person has a unique set of circumstances that determine, on an individual basis, what…

DECODING MOMMY FORUM B.S.

I think all of us can recall the first time we found ourselves on a mommy forum. Did it not feel like  you’d entered an alternate universe where people talked about poop in code? DH, DD, LO, WTF ARE THESE WOMEN TALKING ABOUT?? I guess the logic is that by abbreviating EVERYTHING, you’re saving time. I…

HAVING KIDS IS COOL. I SWEAR.

I have to be honest with you… Sometimes having a kid (or multiple kids, I’d imagine) blows.  Yeah I said it.   There are mornings when you look at your clock and the numbers 5:30 stare back at you and say mockingly, “hey, you signed up for this” – which makes you wish for a…

SH*T PREGNANT PEOPLE SAY

Pregnancy is no fucking joke – the constant aches and pains, the chronic digestive issues, the unfortunate lack of alcohol. It’s miraculous but it’s also weird AF. In just 40 weeks, women are faced with a slew of new and foreign experiences; experiences that compel them to say some pretty bizarre shit. If you’ve ever…