Forced Evolution is the best way to define what happens to a woman when she becomes a mother.
“Change” is the word used most often, but “change” fails to paint the whole picture. Sure, maybe the circumstances change, but the woman doesn’t. The woman remains mostly who she is… but she evolves. She takes inventory of her life and decides what must stay and what can go.
Motherhood made us edit our social circles, pare down our wardrobes, and prioritize our careers. It made us spend more time outside (#parklife), eat better (#organiclife), and purchase carefully (#consciouslife). It has stopped our procrastination problems (no free time = no putting shit off), curbed our drinking habits, opened our eyes to the importance of community, and inspired us to lead with empathy always. It has forced us to re-evaluate everything – to realize that we need to see our parents more often and go to bed earlier.
Having kids, a seemingly terrifying prospect to us way back in 2013, brought the two of us together and encouraged us to help each other create a new way of life; one that worked with who we are, what we love and of course, WHO we love – our families.
Those rugrats (and the guys who helped us make them) won our icy Virgo hearts and helped us make the bold choices that have led us to where we are today. Choices like spending every ounce of down time we had on building something that we knew could help unconventional parents everywhere feel a sense of belonging – like quitting our jobs to pursue our dreams so we could prove to ourselves (and one day our kids) that you can accomplish literally anything you want so long as you’re willing to bust your ass to make it happen.
But to be totally honest, we have still yet to figure the fucking balancing act out.
Sometimes we work and mom so hard that we look at the clock at 3pm and say, “shit, did we eat today?” Sometimes we squander an afternoon at the park because we’ve got a conference call happening in our earbuds while we push the kids on the swings.
We’ve felt the stab of guilt that comes when a little kid that you birthed begs you not to go to work today and we know the twinge of embarrassment that arises when your kid answers, “her computer” when asked, “what’s mommy’s favourite thing in the world?”
But you know what the beauty of evolution is? IT’S CONTINUOUS. It doesn’t tell you to have it all figured out from the start. The very nature of it allows you the grace to figure it out as you go; it allows you to make mistakes, to learn from them, and to move on. It encourages you to invest the time in getting to know yourself again… and again… and again. It gives you permission to move in a direction that feels good to you – to take control of your life and make it work for you (and your crew).
Evolution is the gift our kids give to us, whether we’re ready or not. Either way, take it and run with it.
This post was inspired by a talk we gave last week at Yorkdale (to a group of bonafide Rebel Mamas) wherein discussed Forced Evolution and some of the other unexpected perks of motherhood. That’s us being super prepared for candid photos as usual.
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