PEACE OUT, MAXI PADS. EVERYBODY HATES YOU.

Having a baby is one thing. The aftermath is a whole other beast.

Word to the wise: No matter how you expel a human from your body, there’s a whole bunch of other stuff that needs to escape in the days and weeks following.  And by stuff I mean blood. And mucus. And clots. And I think my three male readers just closed their browsers and ran to the bathroom to throw up. Sorry, gentlemen, but this is yet another unfortunate reality of childbirth; just take it as further evidence that your woman is way, WAY tougher than you.

Let’s explore the bleeding time line, shall we?

During a woman’s postpartum hospital stay, she is issued some monster pads – These look like folded up bed sheets, yet they miraculously fit inside the totally unglamorous mesh panties (that basically only come in size XXL) that are also supplied by the hospital. In the first hours post-baby, those pads are 100% necessary and when the time comes, you’ll actually be glad to have them (ew – I know).

The next week or so calls for some hella absorbent maxi pads. Most of us have not worn one of these since the seventh grade and as such, we have forgotten just how fucking disgusting they feel. They are scratchy, bulgy, they stick to the wrong places, they make an imprint in your ass if you sit on them for too long, and they basically make you feel like you’re wearing the same undergarment as your newborn. In short, maxi pads suck. But you know what really fucking sucks? WEARING THEM FOR A MONTH.

WTF

That’s right. A week is one thing, but postpartum bleeding doesn’t let you off the hook that easy. While the worst is over fairly quickly, women find themselves in line at the drug store purchasing “Regular”, “Light Days”, and “Pantyliners” for weeks after giving birth.

This sad fact was something I was completely oblivious to until I had my son 2 years ago and for me, these stupid pads became the bane of my existence – always there, supplying just enough discomfort to make me want to scratch my ass in public. 

But this time around, I outsmarted ALWAYS with a little help from a New York-based company created for women by women called THINX. They have developed what I refer to as *MIRACLE PANTIES* that are moisture-wicking, anti-microbial, absorbent, and leak resistant. THINX undies are “period-proof” (and they’re actually cute as hell).

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These bad boys come in six different styles that all have varying levels of absorbency and areas of protection. I started wearing mine about 2 weeks post-baby when the bleeding had tapered off but remained present enough to be annoying. Because I had a c-section, I went for the hi-waist option that holds up to one and a half tampons worth of liquid… sound gross? IT’S NOT. In their own words:

Every pair of THINX has a top layer that wicks all liquid into the über thin absorption layer right beneath it, so that you feel super dry. This way, you can wear ’em all day long (i.e., no, you don’t have to change them during the day, no, they don’t feel like diapers, and no, it’s not like sitting in your own blood). Boom.

These panties are a bloody game changer (see what I did there?) and the gals at THINX aren’t stopping at periods… They’ve recently branched out to pee! When they discovered that 1 in 3 women experience bladder leakage (thanks giant baby head coming through our vaginas) they decided to create some badass panties to keep their fellow ladies “sly and dry”. Enter: ICON, pee-proof underwear that is, once again, as cute as it is absorbent.

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What made me fall in love with both THINX and ICON was (a) their witty, no-fucks-given marketing strategy that tugged at my feminist heartstrings and (b) their philanthropic missions.

A portion of the profit from each pair of THINX period panties sold goes to their partner organization in Uganda called AFRIpads that trains local women to sew and sell washable, reusable cloth pads (creating a new wave of female entrepreneurs) that can then be purchased and worn by a girl, allowing her to stay in school everyday of the month. (CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE)

Purchasing a pair of ICON pee-proof panties means supporting the Fistula Foundation that helps fund treatment, recoveries, and life changing surgeries for women who suffer from obstetric fistulas. (CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE)

I have now personally experienced the joy that is pad-free living and I want you to be able to share in the magic too. We’ve teamed up with the gals from THINX / ICON to give away a pair of undies to three lucky winners, so get on over to our INSTAGRAM to find out how you can enter to win!

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Sporting my THINX and my brand new stretch marks! (Thanks Rebel Baby 2.0!)

We also want to offer you a sweet little Rebel Mama discount on all your THINX / ICON undie purchases! Use the code: rebelmama at the check-out and enjoy $5 off all your panty swag.

K now go burn your maxi pads; you don’t need that kind of negativity in your life.

 

 

 

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