“What surprised me most about this study was how surprised my male colleagues were with the findings,” claims Dr. Wright – the ‘whistle-blower’ who is being hailed by women the world over as The One Who Told Men Everywhere What We’ve Known Since The Beginning of Time.
“My hypothesis was simple,” claims the sole female contributor to The Gynecological Times, “The lazier the man, the dryer the pussy of the woman he lives with. It really is that black or white.”
The evidence speaks for itself. A man armed with the task of making the bed, who thirty minutes later can be found standing beside said bed, tangled in a fitted sheet, is almost guaranteed to have a woman residing in the house with an extremely parched vagina.
“Dry vaginas have for centuries been attributed to a female shortcoming – exhaustion, hormone fluctuations, lifestyle decisions etc. But this study is revolutionary insofar as its ability to re-frame the way we think about dryness… and wetness for that matter.”
She continues, “I’m not saying that placing a dirty dish beside the dishwasher rather than in the dishwasher will automatically and unequivocally result in a dry pussy, I’m just saying that there’s a good amount of evidence that tell us that it probably will.”
Dr. Wright expressed to us her hopes that as many men as possible get wind of the findings of her new study.
“The most promising part of our extensive investigation is that the pussy can experience a very positive reaction to a plethora of different levels of competence, insofar as household tasks are concerned. Men everywhere should find solace in the knowledge that they don’t necessarily have to excel at house-chores in order to reap the benefits of a lubricated vagina. Merely attempting them can increase vaginal wetness by up to 25%! Unsurprisingly, our studies show that the more valiant the effort, the wetter the pussy.”
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