REIMAGINING MOTHERHOOD

We’ve been thinking a lot about purpose lately.  Since we’ve come to learn that having purpose is absolutely integral to one’s happiness we’ve been consumed with carrying out a careful evaluation in order to establish what our own purpose is.  Obviously a major contribution that we will make to the world lies in the 2ft tall, bright-eyed and bushy tailed lives that we helped create; that one’s a given.  But we’re not talking about purpose solely in the parental sense. We’re talking about a contribution to the betterment of society – what can WE do to make the world a better place, even for just for a few people?

Then it occurred to us – our work at The Rebel Mama is already making a difference in the way women relate to their roles as mothers! We believe that women can have it all: the family, the lover, the social life, the creative fulfillment, the healthy lifestyle, the professional success… but we need each other’s support to get there.  If we can listen, commiserate, laugh, lend a hand, and encourage each other to be honest and brave and tenacious, then we can allow each other the freedom to create our own personal definitions of motherhood and throw the societal pressures out the window.  And that’s the message that The Rebel Mama tries, with every post we write, with every event we throw, to relay.

A Bit of Background from OG Rebel Mama, Nikita:

Throughout my pregnancy and the early days of motherhood, I felt completely overwhelmed and disheartened by the images and the rhetoric that commonly surrounded motherhood.  There was the mother as martyr; the mother whose house was a perpetual disaster; the mother who hates her body; the mother who has lost touch with herself.  Terror. Dread. Anxiety.

To my surprise, though, motherhood opened itself up to me as a joyful and inspiring experience, but only once I realized that I had complete control over what being a mom meant for me… that realization changed my outlook on life and my relationship with my role as ”mama” completely.

As time passed, I began to search for women with similar experiences to mine – and boy did I ever find them. They were (are) a band of outsiders who had consciously chosen to go against the grain and take a chance at the delicate balancing act of maintaining the true essence of who they are, all the while loving and nurturing the life/ lives they had created.

They are revolutionaries.  They are modern day feminists who refuse to let society tell them how a woman should act once she becomes a mother.  They lift each other up above judgement and resentment. They are rebels with a cause.

What does the world need to know that The Rebel Mama needs to tell them?

First – a woman’s experience of motherhood is personal, unique, and should only be dictated by the woman herself.  She and her experience should not be judged; rather, she should be supported and encouraged by her community, since motherhood is hard as hell no matter what, and judgement is counterproductive for all parties involved. Equally as counterproductive is the notion that a woman should completely sacrifice her happiness and sanity for her kids – does it not make more sense to offer our fullest, most joyful, most fulfilled selves to our families instead?

Self love is paramount. Acceptance and support of our fellow mothers is paramount. Balance is paramount. Not taking everything so goddamn seriously is paramount. It’s time to learn from each other and applaud individuality.  The truth of the matter is that we’re all out here trying our fucking hardest to do the best job we can of raising good human beings.

NEWSFLASH: Anybody who is talking to her friends, consulting Google at all hours of the night, wondering if she’s doing a good job, IS DOING A GOOD JOB.

Why do we need The Rebel Mama?

It’s time to change the rhetoric about what being a mother does to a woman’s mind, body and spirit.  Let’s stop scaring new moms about what their future holds; instead, let’s tell the story of motherhood in such a way that is honest and raw and supportive and empowering. Let’s talk about the women who found their professional and creative mojo because of motherhood, not in spite of it.  Let’s make parenthood inclusive. Let’s create the modern village. Let’s make discussions about parenthood accessible to non-parents too, because the more we can communicate, the more we can bridge gaps that will make society a kinder place to mothers and women at large.

Sometimes, we need a reminder of how amazing we are and how worthy we are of a relationship with our true selves. The Rebel Mama is always happy to deliver that reminder.

So, what’s the goal now?

The goal is always consistent growth and constant improvement.  TRM started in 2013.  That year, 3,000 people found their way to the site.  The next year that doubled to 6,000.  In September of 2014, a conscious decision was made to really make a go out of the site, and we vowed to dedicate time and effort into creating meaningful content. We committed to writing ourpersonal trials and tribulations in motherhood. We wanted them to be honest, relatable, funny and empowering – lo and behold, it struck a cord and in the past year, 250,000 people have come to http://therebelmama.com to laugh, cry, commiserate, and feel as though they are not alone in their unconventional attitudes toward their roles as mamas. So what’s next?

Well, a book, of course!  It’s time to transition The Rebel Mama from screen to paper. There is something about a book, a real book, with a hard cover, pages to mark, chapters to reference, that is so special.

We want THE REBEL MAMA’S HANDBOOK FOR (COOL) MOMS to be something that can be passed from girlfriend to girlfriend.  We want it to be the perfect baby shower gift for the unlikely mama.  We want it to be a reference guide for a veteran mom who wants to explore her creativity; We want a new mom to be able to have a good laugh while her infant cat-naps beside her.  We want this book to ignite a revolution that ends competition amongst moms and sparks a trend of community in its place.

We want it to reestablish the mother as a human being who is doing her best – and who wants the best for her family. But modern women want the best for ourselves too. We know this undertaking is no joke, which is why we make a point to supply the occasional little nudge and a whisper that says “you’re doing a great job, girl!”.

We want to show new moms the club they’re soon to become members of.  We want them to know that it’s one that’s filled with laughter through the tough times and glass clinking through the good times and support through all the moments in between.

Good news, OUR HANDBOOK IS ON ITS WAY TO BEING PUBLISHED!  Is this a book you are excited to see come to fruition? Is this a movement you want to support?

Here are a few things you can do:

1. SUBSCRIBE to www.therebelmama.com (just scroll down to the end of this page!) to be kept in the loop on release dates and pop-up events!
2. COMMENT on this post and let the world know why you’re pumped for this book to come out! Has The Rebel Mama inspired you to create your own definition of motherhood? Share your story.
3. SHARE THIS POST! The farther it goes, the more support it’ll get, and we can really turn this Rebel Dream into a reality.

We can accomplish great things, but we have to support each other and lift each other up if we want to get there. So are you with us, or what!

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Featured Image: Harley and DJ / Follow @harleyanddj

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Love empowering posts? SAME! Here are some of our favourites: To The Runner of Shit, We’re Bringing Self Esteem Back, TMI: Too Much Insecurity.