SLEEP TRAINING, BREASTFEEDING, AND MINDING YOUR OWN DAMN BUSINESS.

A new, comprehensive, scientific study has just been released that proves that persons who sleep train their children and those who co-sleep with their children can both be equally good/loving/capable parents. In a shocking discovery, information has surfaced proving that every person has a unique set of circumstances that determine, on an individual basis, what is right for said person and his or her family.

For instance, a parent who is dealing with a third child, is likely to decide against letting their youngest infant “cry it out”, mainly in fear of fucking up the other childrens’ schedule which in turn fucks up EVERYTHING.

via instagram @mamawatters
via instagram @mamawatters
Another parent may be borderline unable to function without 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep; said parent is likely a much better parent when rested. This family may very well benefit from letting their baby cry for a couple nights in order to allow themselves a shot at a decent night’s sleep in the foreseeable future.

It seems that this “individuality” that differentiates one family from another, can also influence a mother’s feeding practices. It appears that there is more to breastfeeding than being able or unable to produce milk. It is possible that an infant could be tongue tied, or that a mother’s nipples are fully inverted. Evidently, major surgery (like a Cesarean, for example) can also have an effect on a woman’s ability and/or desire to nurse. These are just three of many scenarios that are as important as they are nobody’s business.

via instagram @nictrunfio / @elleusa
via instagram @nictrunfio / @elleusa
Still, shockwaves were sent through the scientific community when it was revealed that individualized, personal decisions (such as the above mentioned) do not, in fact, have any reason to be subject to the judgement of others.

While some believe that their opinions should be internalized by those with whom they share them, it seems that those individuals rarely account for circumstance – the thing about which they often know very little, but provides the context for that which they are judging.

via instagram @mstr_of_disguise
via instagram @mstr_of_disguise
Scientists hypothesize that if those who judge were to listen more than they spoke, they would lose the desire to judge at a rate far more rapid than they ever thought possible.

The β€˜facts’ appearing in this article were sourced solely from my own brain, which, in turn makes this a satirical piece.  If you did not gather that already, then best of luck to you – you’ll need it.

48 Comments Add yours

  1. I LOVE THIS. Thank you for being a voice of reason and for keeping it real.

    Like

    1. TheRebelMama says:

      Thank you so much! I’m so glad I can put my inability to sugarcoat to good use πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰ Thanks for taking the time to comment x

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Julie Morrow says:

    Thanks for this brilliantly written piece!
    Scientists also say that the judgers need to butt out and mind their own business πŸ™‚
    Sharing on my facebook page @mum2mumnetwork

    Like

    1. TheRebelMama says:

      Thanks for taking the time to read, comment AND share! You rock, Julie!

      Like

    2. TheRebelMama says:

      Thank you for reading and commenting AND sharing! You rock, Julie!! xx

      Like

  3. Sam says:

    What? When you say…

    “The β€˜facts’ appearing in this article were sourced solely from my own brain, which, in turn makes this a satirical piece. If you did not gather that already, then best of luck to you – you’ll need it.”

    Don’t you lead with this?

    “A new, comprehensive, scientific study has just been released that proves that persons who sleep train their children and those who co-sleep with their children can both be equally good/loving/capable parents.”

    And shouldn’t you give the authors of the study?

    Also, science and scientists don’t (and shouldn’t) judge. That’s not how science works. It’s absolutely ok to organize out lives NOT around scientific data and findings. Just do it with out eyes open…

    Like

    1. Amanda says:

      Sam, your comment makes absolutely no sense. As the author put it, good luck out there! You’re clearly going to need it.

      Like

      1. Lindsay says:

        LOL

        Like

    2. Becky says:

      Hehehe. This is amazing.

      Like

    3. Lindsay Hollohan says:

      right over your head eh?

      Like

    4. Katy says:

      Uh.. You’re joking, right? If so, you, unlike the author, need some help with satire. If not, you just plain need some help.

      Like

    5. Jacob says:

      Tragically clueless.

      Take a few steps backwards, away from the impending follies to ensue throughout this one’s life.

      Like

    6. Lori says:

      There’s always gotta be someone…

      Like

  4. Jamie says:

    Love this and Live it! Thank you

    Like

    1. TheRebelMama says:

      No, thank YOU! πŸ™ŒπŸΌ

      Like

  5. Tenley says:

    A recent story in my community has cast a lot of shame on a young mother already in a horrible situation, peoples comments on public sites have amazed me… this is exactly what all those people need to see and remember! Thank you for this, I plan to share!

    Like

    1. TheRebelMama says:

      Awesome – spread the message, girl! The world can use as much understanding and acceptance as it can get! πŸ˜‰ x

      Like

  6. Dara says:

    This is awesome and so on target. Why is this the first I have heard of you? Parenting is tough. It should be legally declared a judgement free zone. Thank you for explaining it so eloquently. Although, I have a feeling there are some people who will need a little follow-up so feel free to quote me on this. Don’t f@$!ing judge other parents who are doing their best for their family. Or, better yet, stop the judgement altogther.

    Like

    1. Dara says:

      This is awesome and so on target. Why is this the first I have heard of you? Parenting is tough. It should be legally declared a judgement free zone. Thank you for explaining it so eloquently. Although, I have a feeling there are some people who will need a little follow-up so feel free to quote me on this. Don’t f@$!ing judge other parents who are doing their best for their family. Or, better yet, stop the judgement altogether.

      Like

    2. TheRebelMama says:

      Oh I’m so glad you found me! Thanks for your kind words. Wouldn’t it be great if this was printed and distributed to families as they were discharged from the maternity ward? πŸ˜‚

      Like

      1. Dot, momma to many says:

        Dear god, yes. I could’ve used stuff like this upon discharge, instead of those wipes that look like crepe paper and don’t scrape newborn poop off of…well, anything. πŸ˜€
        You rock dear!

        Like

      2. TheRebelMama says:

        Thank you so much!

        Like

  7. Dana S says:

    You need to add a piece on baby wearing here too, hee hee! Thanks for the laugh this morning, I really needed it!

    Like

    1. TheRebelMama says:

      Haha noted. Glad I could give you your Wednesday morning laugh πŸ˜‰

      Like

  8. Wanderslutt says:

    Where’s the reblog button? Wonderfully stated lady!

    Like

    1. TheRebelMama says:

      Thank you! There’s gotta be a reblog button hanging around here somewhere πŸ˜‰πŸ˜›

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Katie says:

    I absolutely love this! I shared on my facebook page Poppy Consultants! My prayer and guidance for each of my clients is that they understand that no matter what they read, hear, advice they are given, pressure they are under…THEY are the parent and they best part of being a parent is that you get to make the decisions on your own. We live in a world that parents don’t trust their own maternal instinct and gut anymore, which is a shame! Thank you for telling it like it is!

    Like

    1. TheRebelMama says:

      That’s so great – I’m glad you found me. I will have to check you out on FB 😊 thanks for sharing!

      Like

  10. I’m not even a mom yet (31 weeks pregnant) and I already find this hilarious due to the amount of unsolicited advice I have already received! Well done!

    Like

    1. TheRebelMama says:

      That advice will start coming faster and more furious as the days pass! Congrats on the pregnancy. I wrote a post when I was about as far along as you called “Don’t Piss Off The Preggo: revisiting the basic rules of human interaction” that you’d get a kick out of! Haha

      https://therebelmama.com/2014/01/24/dont-piss-off-the-preggo-revisiting-basic-rules-of-human-interaction/

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Molly says:

    Love this!!! Such an inspiration to myself and other moms out there! Thank u

    Like

    1. TheRebelMama says:

      Thank you so much! We have to do everything we can to empower each other, I think. Who’s got the time to judge anyway? Geez!

      Like

  12. Barbara says:

    Hi, I love your post! So true! Just shared it on my Facebook page @mylittleowlau xx

    Like

    1. TheRebelMama says:

      Thank you!! I will check you out for sure x

      Like

  13. mommy says:

    spin it anyway you want

    Like

  14. Love this! As a first time mom of twins, it’s amazing how many (and how varied) expectations (note: not necessarily “advice”) I’ve received through this whole journey (and they’re only 10 months so I’m sure there will be a lot more to come)! Even in the hospital I felt lost until I figured out how to get some Mommy Balls and speak up. I think we need to promote self confidence amongst ourselves as well!

    Like

    1. Dot, momma to many says:

      MOMMY BALLS! YES! I just threw mine at my mother last week. Long story there, but I love that phrase!

      Liked by 1 person

    2. TheRebelMama says:

      Twins! People should be giving you trophies instead of advice! Good for you, mama. You just do you and love those little rascals of yours πŸ˜‰πŸ™ŒπŸΌ

      Like

  15. Leslie says:

    I have 3 children and each one of them I operated differently for. I did what worked best for me and the child most in need at the time. Sometimes a baby would sleep in bed with me, sometimes not. I breast fed one for 2 months, one for 9 or 10 I think? I used a bottle, a soother, disposable diapers, they cried it out, I cried it out. We napped on the floor, on the couch, in the car – took baths together (whether they were invited in or not! Toddlers!!!). I nursed with one arm and vacuumed with the other. I didn’t label it – it wasn’t anyone’s business – nor did anyone care – what I did or how I did it! I think these people who “don’t get it” should being ashamed of themselves for pushing all these ideologies on anyone – especially a new parent who is just trying not to drop the kid! Give advice, when it’s asked for, and support always; no matter what choices we make to raise our children!

    Like

    1. Dot, momma to many says:

      I hear you on the uninvited toddlers in the tub! They drive me nutty! lol

      Like

    2. TheRebelMama says:

      3 children – amazing! I can’t even imagine. Totally just gotta do whatever you gotta do to make it though the day… Survival mode will definitely have you getting creative πŸ˜‰

      Like

  16. Katrina Bass says:

    Hah! Amazing. Definitely sharing.

    Like

    1. TheRebelMama says:

      Awesome! Thank you!!

      Like

    1. TheRebelMama says:

      πŸ™πŸΌπŸ™πŸΌπŸ™πŸΌ

      Like

  17. Melinda says:

    Thank you! There are so many judgements with parenting wouldn’t it be nice if us mums stuck together and supported each other? Sharing this on our page. πŸ™‚

    Like

    1. TheRebelMama says:

      Understanding and support are 2 things that we moms need to try our best to extend to each other, every chance we get! Thank you for spreading the word, mama!

      Like

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