Pre-baby preparation: It’s a total pain in the ass.  

I mean, with my first, it was sort of exhilarating, I guess – setting up the bassinet, laundering and organizing tiny clothing, buying our first box of diapers, sorting through shower gifts… everything was so new and foreign and everyone was so excited!

Second time around? It just kinda feels like more shit to do. (Maybe that’s why I’ve left packing my hospital bag until 5 days before my scheduled C-section… oopsies!)

Now, do I feel a little guilty that I’m not rearing to go like I was with baby no.1? OF COURSE I DO. I’m a mom. I feel guilty for pretty much everything. But it’s the cold hard truth and I’m just throwing it out there. I’m sure I’ll be plenty excited when Rebel Baby 2.0 is pulled from my abdomen and raised above the blue surgical curtain like Simba, so everybody RELAX.

But I digress; back to the task at hand. What’s going into The Rebel Mama hospital tote? Well, a lot less shit than what made the cut last time! I’m bringing nothing but the essentials (well, the essentials plus a few things to make my recovery room feel a little bit like home because I’m actually rather high maintenance… not so high maintenance that I’m filling the room with white roses and Diptyque candles, though; I’m not J.LO high maintenance!)

*Keep in mind that I’m going in for a c-section, so I know for a fact I’ll be chillin’ in the hospital for AT LEAST 48 hours*

 

FOR MAMA

granny panties bridget jones

  • ID, HOSPITAL CARD, INSURANCE INFORMATION, DEBIT/CREDIT CARD, SIGNED DOCUMENTS I’VE BEEN INSTRUCTED BY MY DOCTOR TO BRING
  • (2) Adult diapers (just incase I experience avalanche-like lochia bleeding. #glamour)
  • (4) Pairs of maternity underwear (the high-waisted, granny panty ones that won’t bother my incision site)
  • (10) Monster Pads (yes, c-section mamas experience the same after birth grossness as non-c-section mamas)
  • (4) Breast pads (just in case my milk decides to come in while I’m there; it didn’t last time, though, but you just never know)
  • Nursing bra (whip dem boobies out!)
  • Granny nightgown + Robe (last time I didn’t bring anything long enough to feel comfortable walking the hallways in… lesson learned. This time I’m only bringing shit that comes to my knees).
  • Loose sweats + a light weight zip-up hoodie (easy nursing/skin-to-skin access)
  • Going Home Outfit (long black cardigan + black maternity tights. #allblackeverything)
  • 3 pairs of socks (you never know if/when something disgusting is going to wind up on them)
  • Flip flops (in case I decide to shower… we’ll see)
  • Moccasins (easy to push my feet into when they inevitably force me to get up and try to stroll around the room)
  • Sleep Mask (in case I attempt to nap during the day)
  • Toiletries:
    • Toothbrush + Toothpaste
    • Face wash + Toner + Moisturizer
    • Deodorant
    • Hair Elastics (just a couple)
    • Bobby Pins (just a few)
    • Makeup – the basics (just incase I feel inspired to apply concealer… doubtful… but you never know)
    • Showercap (if I do shower, I don’t need a curly hot mess on my head)
    • Chapstick (hospital air is dry is fuck)

JUST FOR COMFORT

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  • Our own pillows – one for me, one for dad (both in NON-WHITE LINENS so they don’t get confused with hospital crap)
  • A blanket for dad (poor guy has to sleep on a shitty La-Z-Boy style thing; the least we can do is give him a cozy blankie)
  • Towel (in case I decide to shower/wash my face) *when I went into labour with my son I also brought one to sit on in the car in case of unwanted leakage on leather seats*

FOR DAD

  • Can hopefully manage to pack his own socks, undies and change of clothes.

FOOD + DRINK

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  • Reusable water bottle (SO PARCHED… but refuse to drink Desani)
  • Biosteel High Performance Sports Drink (Need energy… but refuse to drink Gatorade because, ew – and also, SO PARCHED)
  • Coconut Water with Aloe (SO SO SO PARCHED – plus the added detoxifying benefits of Aloe after being pumped with pain killers? Yes please!)
  • Dried fruit + nuts (Need energy. Need fibre. Hate hospital food.)
  • Granola Bars (Dads need snacks too)
  • Oranges, Apples, Bananas, Pears, Grapes (easy to eat/one stop vitamin stop/ full of fibre/don’t require a fridge)
  • Gum / TicTacs
  • UberEats app (will legit deliver to your room)

TECH

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  • Phones (duh)
  • Chargers (double duh)
  • Vanity Fair / Vogue and all the trash mags (for when my eyes start to burn from Instagram)

FOR REBEL BABE

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  • (15) Newborn Diapers (Newborn because I know for a fact this baby is little and 15 because that’s how many I grabbed and it’s better safe than scrambling for fucking diapers)
  • Wipes (for inevitable gross black poo)
  • Fold up change pad
  • Coconut oil (in lieu of diaper cream… also in lieu of moisturizer for mama)
  • 2 swaddling blankets (yes, they come wrapped in a blanket, but I like to use my own)
  • 2 tiny cotton hats (gotta keep the heat in! Also, newborn heads are gunky and they look cuter when you cover that up #justsayin)
  • 2 newborn onesies (my first only got dressed the morning we went home… but I can only imagine some kind of poo explosion going down as I lower this one into his car seat – always good to have backup)
  • CAR SEAT (DO NOT forget this one)
  • 1 warm blanket (for the car ride home)
  • 2 burp cloths (he probably isn’t going to spit up… These are incase any visitors attempt to hold him while sporting a scratchy sweater or if they smell like they’ve bathed in cologne)
  • 2 infant washcloths (I dunno why, but these things ALWAYS come in handy)
  • Mitts (or just newborn socks – gotta cover those claws)
  • Nail Clippers (in case the claws are like hardcore razor blades) *I would not have had the balls to cut newborn nails with baby no.1, mind you*

THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND

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  • Before family comes to visit, remind them to come bearing food (I requested lots of smoothies and veggie bowls last time)
  • Also remind them to stop for proper coffee before they come cause EW cafeteria brown water won’t cut it (and yes you can have a bit)
  • If you’re lucky enough to live relatively close to the hospital, don’t panic about the possibility of forgetting something at home… You can send someone home to get pretty much anything you need.
  • When packing clothes, just ask yourself, “Can I easily whip my boob out of this?”. If the answer is no, then pack something else

Happy packing, Rebels!

Oh and for your distinct viewing pleasure, here’s an actual photo of my actual shopping list today:

Hospital Bag Shopping List

Motherhood is SO glamorous.

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