If you’ve been following for a while (and I mean A LONG WHILE) then you may remember THIS post that I wrote about shit that bugged the crap out of me *back in 2013* (although it’s all pretty relevant still, actually).
Well, fast forward to 2016 and it turns out a lot of shit still bugs the crap out of me! It’s just different shit. Mom shit. Feminist shit.
Something tells me this shit bugs the crap out of you too.
1. Can we stop spending more money on our kids’ wardrobes than we spend on our own? Like, honestly. You think your kids care what Stella McCartney thinks is cute? They don’t. They want a Dora t-shirt from Walmart. They want to put that t-shirt on and then they want to go to the park and roll in the dirty, dirty, sand box. If you like Stella, save your money and put it toward a bag; your kid literally gives zero fucks about brand names.
2. Can we stop asking each other questions that we should really be consulting GOOGLE on? Want to know if the mall is open? GOOGLE. Want to know how to bake a cake? GOOGLE. Want to get medical advice? NOT GOOGLE. But, want to know how to get to the doctor? AGAIN, GOOGLE!
3. Can we stop gifting kids toys? NO parent wants more of that shit in their house. And honestly, kids only want them for like 30 seconds and then they’re over it. Give clothes, give “experience gifts”, give money toward childcare, WHATEVER. Just stop with the dust-collecting stuffed animals and noisy-ass plastic things with 80 (choke-able) pieces.
4. Can we stop perpetuating the idea that women innately know what they’re doing with kids and men don’t? Can we stop applauding men for changing diapers even though the damn thing is on backwards? Can we trust them to accept necessary constructive criticism and still continue to be helpful, active parents? If we can’t, then can we at least start affording moms the same luxury of praising half-assed parenting attempts rather than scrutinizing anything less that perfection?
5. Can junk-food companies kindly STOP advertising on The Disney Channel so that I don’t have to diffuse grocery store tantrums over not purchasing Lucky Charms?
6. Can we stop blindly accepting barely covered boobies bouncing around in a hip-hop video as the norm yet getting offended when we see a woman nursing in public without attempting to cover herself?
7. Can we also stop commenting on women’s post-baby bodies? Yes, my body has gone back to it’s original shape more quickly than the average person (Thank you, being 29 and also coming from an awesome gene pool); however, dude at the grocery store, it is still ever-so-creepy for you to comment on how my body looks. Kid or no kid, infant or no infant, why are we talking about my appearance? You literally don’t fucking know me. It is incredibly awkward.
8. Can my toddler stop messing with my emotions? Am I your favourite parent or do you not like me? Make up your mind.
9. Can we stop talking about “locker room talk” like it’s an infallible institution so that our sons actually have a chance to grow up knowing better and doing better?
10. Can we stop pretending we don’t see the mother struggling with the stroller on her way into the coffee shop? She needs her fix more than you do. Help her.
Well that feels better.
So what irks you? Let it out sister. Let it out – then let it go!
(feel free to vent in the comments)
I love this so much. And I’d like to add: Can we please stop pretending organic means healthy? I see your organic fruit bars and apple juice boxes that cost more than an entire meal at my favorite restaurant and are filled with more sugar than a candy bar. And now my daughter won’t eat her disgusting, non-organic, cheap ass banana because you offered her something “better” and said to me, “It’s okay, it’s organic from Whole Foods” after I gave you the death stare.