This won’t be a long post. It’s more of a rant and then I’m done with the topic because dwelling on it and expending more energy on it would just be a waste of my time.

A few nights ago, at a scene-y party downtown, a stranger told me he thought I was beautiful. I graciously thanked him.

Then, he proceeded to tell me that he just learned I was a mom too.

“Wow you’re too hot to be a mom.”


I’m sorry. I can’t be hot AND a mom? I’m “hot” DESPITE being a mom?

Man, fuck off. Seriously.

Now, I gather that a dude (I’ve never been told this by a girl before) may think it’s a compliment… to suggest that a woman is straight fire, and it is therefore unfathomable that she could also be a mother.

Hmmm… Right…

‘Cause moms are gross? Because as soon as a baby emerges from your body, you automatically become BANNED from being a babe? Oh ok.

Listen, I get that nobody’s thinking deeply anymore – everyone’s just sort of saying things for the sake of saying things, but I’m here to tell you that this particular ‘compliment’ comes off plain rude, and frankly, it’s also super outdated, which makes it that much more annoying.

I’d like to take this time to remind you that not everyone, especially not these days, throws the towel in the minute they take to having their own family. Mom jeans of the past have now been replaced by high-waisted soft denim from L.A., and no one’s sporting a hair-sprayed bob this side of town. We still love to go out, eat at great restaurants, get boozy with our friends and take care of our sexy.

Newsflash – We’re not dead yet.

Being a mom doesn’t replace all the other things we were before, and are today. Don’t underestimate us, boys. It’s 2017. There’s enough shit us ladies gotta deal with on the daily so don’t be the guy that rubs us the wrong way with a backhanded compliment.

You want to tell a woman she’s beautiful? By all means, tell her. Women are the most beautiful creatures on the planet and deserve to be reminded of that. Just keep it classy please.

P.S. The term MILF is done too. Stop using it.

xx A


Featured Image: Painting by Matt Talbert 


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