By Melissa Hopper
The first few years of parenthood can be tough. Little sleep, less patience, plus loads of dirty diapers and tears? Of course we sometimes daydream about the not-so-distant future.
Imagine how awesome it’ll be when our kids can tie their own shoes and wipe their own butts?
But guess what? If you’ve got small kids, you can get away with a lot of shit that just doesn’t fly once they’re older and that’s a perk worth taking note of. So in case you’re drowning in a sea of infant/toddler drama ATM, here’s a list of stuff to make sure you appreciate before the next season of motherhood inevitably rolls through and throws you a whole new series of curve balls to contend with.
(Jane Birkin, 1967)
You can skip parts of a bad book
Kids love to read (which is awesome), but we all know that some books can be annoying and long. When my little bookworm grabs a stack of books and we’re reading the ones I don’t love, I’ll skip the occasional sentence or page. I know it won’t be long before she calls me out on it, so I figure I may as well get it while the getting’s good.
You can eat their Halloween candy
This is bar none one of the greatest parenting perks of all time. They do the work and we reap the rewards. They’re too young to realize they only got to enjoy a small portion of what they collected and they don’t need to know that after they went to bed, Mommy and Daddy cracked open a bottle of wine and binged on peanut butter cups and tootsie rolls. #blessed
You control what they are wearing
I’m sure we all remember our parents saying, “You’re leaving the house dressed like that?” or some variation of it. Well one day, those words will be coming out of your mouth too, so take a minute to enjoy the infinite power you have over your kids’ wardrobe choices while they’re little and know that when they get older, they’ll likely look back at old photos of themselves, roll their eyes and tell you they can’t believe you dressed them like such a dork. You will roll your eyes back and tell they you can’t believe you let them live with you for so long without charging rent. Check Mate.
They like you and want to spend time with you
At this point in your life, your kids actually like you, probably a lot. They get excited to see you and they want to be with you all the time – even when you could really use a few minutes of privacy to do things like shower or take a poop. The other day my toddler told me I’m her best friend and I was thrilled… Then I immediately flashed forward to the teenage years when she’ll probably be telling me how much she hates me. So, for now, I’m trying to enjoy spending as much time with my little homegirl as I can, even if it’s at a time when I’d rather not have an audience. *flushes toilet*
They smell great
When they’re small, even their sweaty little feet and morning breath smell good. Appreciate that shit while it lasts, because before you know it you’ll be hosing them down at the front door to get the smell of raging hormones off them.
They think you’re funny
I can pretty much do anything these days and my kids will laugh. I dance around the house, sing at the top of my lungs and make funny faces, much to their delight. One day they will surely be mortified over the same things and will tell me I’m embarrassing them and ruining their life. (Sorry kids – that’s what parents are for!)
You can lie to them
We teach our kids that it’s not good to lie, but sometimes for your own sanity you need to be a hypocrite. For example, the other day my toddler wanted to watch another episode of Dora The Explorer but I’d reached my cartoon quota for the day. Of course I couldn’t just say, “No more Dora,” because that would’ve been met with tears and a dramatic chorus of WHYYYYs (having a toddler is like living with a highly emotional, relentless lawyer who interrogates you about every single thing you say), so I told her Dora had to take a nap and if she wanted to be like Dora, she should take a nap too. It worked. #momwin
You control their social life
There is going to come a time when your kids will walk out the door to do God-knows-what with God-knows-who. So, for now, enjoy the fact that you control their entire social life (and let’s be real here – you probably base it around: “Which of these moms will drink wine with me on a play date?”)
So go. Go sniff your baby. Dress them in something ridiculous. Make them laugh at your awful mom-jokes and skip through half “The Cat In The Hat” because you won’t be afforded those luxuries forever – may as well appreciate them while you can!
Follow Melissa Hopper at @MOMMYWIFEYWINO
Featured Photo: Cindy Crawford by Gilles Bensimon ,1999
*****SHOP THE REBEL MAMA*****