Moms don’t hate the holidays ALL the time; we just hate the holidays most of the time. Why?
- Because malls. Mall parking lots. Mall food. Mall people.
- Because none of our clothes fit right now (because wine and because carbs).
- Because accidental holiday party drunkenness keeps resulting in pumping and goddamn dumping.
- Because we’ve blown all our money buying people gifts they probably will never use.
- Because Elf on the fucking Shelf.
- Because after standing in line for two hours, our kids lost their damn minds over the prospect of actually sitting on Santa’s lap once their turn came.
- Because Justin Bieber Christmas songs.
- Because we perpetually have 100 unread emails because every store we’ve ever stepped into in our entire lives keeps sending junk mail about their AMAZING CHRISTMAS SALES.
- Because we know our houses are about to be overrun with a slew of plastic toys that light up and make noise that our kids will play with for all of three days.
- Because there’s fucking glitter everywhere. EVERYWHERE.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!
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Featured Image by Aleksandra Kingo*
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