10 REASONS WHY MOMS HATE THE HOLIDAYS

Moms don’t hate the holidays ALL the time; we just hate the holidays most of the time. Why?

  1. Because malls. Mall parking lots. Mall food. Mall people.

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  2. Because none of our clothes fit right now (because wine and because carbs).

  3. Because accidental holiday party drunkenness keeps resulting in pumping and goddamn dumping.

  4. Because we’ve blown all our money buying people gifts they probably will never use.

  5. Because Elf on the fucking Shelf.

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  6. Because after standing in line for two hours, our kids lost their damn minds over the prospect of actually sitting on Santa’s lap once their turn came.

  7. Because Justin Bieber Christmas songs.

  8. Because we perpetually have 100 unread emails because every store we’ve ever stepped into in our entire lives keeps sending junk mail about their AMAZING CHRISTMAS SALES.

  9. Because we know our houses are about to be overrun with a slew of plastic toys that light up and make noise that our kids will play with for all of three days.

  10. Because there’s fucking glitter everywhere. EVERYWHERE.

    HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

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    Featured Image by Aleksandra Kingo

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