A LESSON IN CALMING THE F*CK DOWN

Let’s be real. Kids are nuts.

They take you to the breaking point of your being on a daily basis and it’s hard to reign in your inner rage when you’re spread thin, sleep deprived, under-appreciated, and over-worked, amirite?

So how do you keep your shit in check long enough to avoid Hulk-style hurling everyone across the room?

We have some ideas. First of all – understand that (a) you’re definitely not alone in your perpetual search for SERENITY NOW and (b) you’re not a bad parent. We are all human, remember? Parenthood is a never-ending learning curve and patience test so let’s try to forgive ourselves a little more often and just try to do better tomorrow.

You’re still wondering:
OK BUT HOW DO I NOT LOSE MY GD MIND, THOUGH?

Well, we’re no experts, but here are some ideas.

WALK AWAY. Literally leave the room for a minute when you feel rage building up inside of you. Breathe in and out deeply until you can calm your nerves. Remind yourself there’s no point of escalating a situation that can be contained. Time outs work for all age groups.
KEEP YOUR VOICE AND TONE LOW. Don’t bother trying to out-yell your kids. You’ll lose. Make like Batman and remember – it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. Lower your voice, clench your teeth, and speak through them if you must.
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. Could the frequent waves of anger you’re feeling be a pile up of all the other things that are currently irking you? Maybe you need a break? Maybe you need some space? Take it.
REMEMBER YOUR AUDIENCE. At the end of the day, you’re dealing with a child. Remind yourself of their capacity to understand, of the impact of your words / actions, and whether or not you want them to emulate the behaviour they see at home out in the world. Reel it in.
PRETEND YOU’RE IN PUBLIC. Would you lose your marbles on your kid (or anyone for that matter) in the middle of a busy intersection with a thousand people around? Probably not. Pretend someone is always watching and try to use these times as teachable moments.
APOLOGIZE. After a blow out, make sure you put aside some time (once everyone’s had a chance to calm down) to discuss what happened. Take ownership of your actions and be a shining example of how to deal with the fallout. Make it clear that you’re in charge, but also that you make mistakes and are always striving to improve – just like them. See? Commonalities. They’re always there when we look for them..
CHANGE THE SCENE. Just as you distract your little one from going off the rails, do the same for you. Stop. Turn on music. Leave the house and go for a walk. Whatever it is – switch it up… it’s impressive what a change of scenery can do for your mental / overall well being.
CHECK IN WITH A PRO. If you feel like you’re getting out of control, go see someone. A doctor or therapist may be able to look into whether there are hormonal or psychological imbalances that are affecting your mood and behaviour.
ASK FOR HELP. Sometimes all the angst builds up within you because you haven’t had any quiet head space and that shit is paramount. Shift your priorities a touch, and prioritize taking time for yourself to breathe and think.
TALK IT OUT. Is there any better feeling than getting together with your friends (or venting in an online forum) and realizing you’re not alone? Take solace in the fact that we’ve all been there and no one is perfect.