WHO WANTS TO BE A WORK-FROM-HOME MOM?! (A SATIRE)

Choosing whether to go back to work or stay home with the kids can be a tough choice for the modern mother.

But who says you can’t have it all?

All the guilt of being a “working mom” with all the frustration and exhaustion of being a “stay-at-home mom”! Become a work-at-home mom and see what new levels of *CrAzY* you’re able to reach!

RX.gif

You’ll pretty much be able to watch your children grow up in front of your eyes (just remember to glance up from your phone every once in awhile so you don’t miss it).

Ever fantasized about working on the couch in your PJs? Well when you’re a work-at-home mom, you’ll get to do just that! You’ll actually be able to wear those same pajamas for multiple days… in a row… with spit up on them.

Plus – I know that you’ve been really tired before and thought, I wonder how tired you have to be before you just keel over and die? WELL YOU’LL GET CLOSER TO FINDING OUT BY SIMPLY BECOMING A WORK-FROM-HOME MOM.

Stroller.gif

Young kids, a demanding career, a confined space with toys that light up and play music – I’ve never BEEN to heaven… but… I mean…

And remember when you worked at a regular job and all you wanted to go was to GO HOME at the end of the day?

Well when you work from home, you never have to worry about wanting to go back there again! Au contraire… when you DO actually manage to escape the confines of your work/life balancing act, be prepared to see the beauty in the outside world again.

The air smells so fresh. You can walk SO FAST. Your non-“loungewear” wardrobe is actually really cool. Hot coffee tastes incredible. It’s so nice to SIT DOWN when you’re eating. (Hot food is pretty great too). Reading on transit is wonderful… because reading!

When you become a work-from-home mom, you’ll develop a deep knowledge of self; you’ll learn when you NEED a break (because nobody will be offering them freely).

Pants.gif

You’ll get to work with some of the most fun people you’ll ever meet (your kids). You’ll do new things constantly (because kids don’t settle for the same old shit).

You’ll pick up a new language (“um, you didn’t understand him? CLEARLY he was asking for 3 more goldfish in his giraffe bowl. Amateur.”), your multitasking skills will be perfected, and you will no longer have any fucks left to give about peripheral crap that doesn’t really matter anyway.

Now, you may feel unsure. You may feel like it’s mission impossible. But becoming a work-from-home mom comes with secret bonus: The realization that there is no such thing as “perfection” in the business of motherhood.

Angel.gif

That’s right – absolutely nobody knows what the hell they’re doing! But I can guarantee you one thing: whatever shit-storm comes your way, no matter how scared or sad or how close to your breaking point you get, it’ll always be Mom For the Win.

Bear.gif

So if you think this job is the right fit for you, contact your husband today!

(Tell him you’d like to make babies in the province of Ontario where the childcare costs are so astronomical that you’ll have no other choice than to be a work-from-home-mom!)

***

And if you’re in the market for some further hardcore motherly honesty (with a side of laughs and “amen sisters”), then do yourself a favour and tune into CBC on Tuesday nights at 9:30 to watch their new soon-to-be hit show: Workin’ Moms – a timely celebration of the fact that no matter how much B.S. we have to deal with in a day, in the end, it’ll always be #momFTW.



KEEP UP WITH WORKIN’ MOMS:
Twitter: @workinmoms | IG: @workinmoms |Facebook: @workinmomsTV

FOLLOW THE REBEL MAMA:
Twitter: @therebelmama | IG: @therebelmama | Facebook: @therebelmama

 

*****SHOP THE REBEL MAMA*****

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s