THE 10 PEOPLE PARENTS HATE MOST 

Becoming a parent will inevitably bring about a plethora of fascinating changes to the way you interact with the world around you. You’ll be more patient, more understanding, more empathetic, and you may also find that you’ll develop a deep hatred for people to whom you had never previously given any thought whatsoever. Here are a few of those assholes – I mean people.

1. PEOPLE WHO MAKE PLANS TO COME OVER AND SHOW UP LATE

You ask what time works for us. We say noon. At noon, the baby is up and the house is clean and we’ve had enough coffee to deal with you. Then you show up at 2, when the baby is napping, there’s Tupperware strewn about, there’s yogurt on the dog, and we’re hitting our mid-day slump. Awesome, we should do this again soon.

tina fay gif

2. PEOPLE WHO PUT CIGARETTES OUT IN PARKS

You know who loves picking up everything off the ground? BABIES. You know who puts everything they pick up in their mouths? BABIES.

3. PEOPLE WHO PUT THEIR GARBAGE CANS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SIDEWALK ON GARBAGE DAY

Thanks bro; there’s nothing we love more than having to haul this giant stroller onto the street to get around your trash bin. How about putting it at the end of your walkway next time?

colin farrel GIF

4. MID-DAY DELIVERY PEOPLE

Why must you knock SWAT Team style? Do you think these modest row houses are secretly mansions and we can’t hear you because we’re in the library in the West Wing? Please, just knock gently. We promise, we will hear you.

5. PEOPLE WHO SET OFF FIRE WORKS AT 8PM ON STAT HOLIDAYS 

Fuck you, people. You send our mom instincts into a tizzy because we immediately assume our house is under attack. Once we figure out it’s just fire works, we spend the entire duration of your pyromaniacal fun praying the POW POW POW doesn’t wake our sleeping babes and through off our oh-so-important schedule.

WHY gif

6. PEOPLE WHO DON’T HAVE ACCESSIBLE ENTRIES 

Hey, store owner. We want your coffee / your cute accessories / your cool furniture, we really do. But we don’t want it badly enough to drag our strollers up your stupid, annoying steps. Get it together.

7. PEOPLE WHO WEAR STRONG PERFUME 

Yes, you, old lady wearing Elizabeth Taylor’s ‘White Diamonds.’ Thanks to you we have to hose our babies down because you hugged them and now our own children are making us gag.

8. PEPOLE WHO DON’T GIVE THEIR SEAT TO PREGNANT WOMEN ON PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION 

Don’t pretend you don’t see that poor lady with her swollen belly, holding her lower back. Her pelvis probably feels like it’s about to implode and her equilibrium is totally fucked due to the giant ball of baby attached to the front of her… But yeah dude, don’t bother getting up.

9. PEOPLE (BABIES) WHO BITE / HIT / PINCH / KICK YOUR CHILD 

In our heads, we know that the biter / hitter / pincher / kicker in question is literally just a baby, but in our hearts, we still hate them a little bit. That’s just the mama bear instincts kicking in though, you’re not a bad person if you hate a baby for a hot minute. Happens to the best of us.

10. EVENING SOLICITORS 

We are not joining the church, we don’t need you to check the furnace, we’re not interested in your chocolate covered almonds. Why you are banging on our doors at 9pm. Go home.

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If you are one of the aforementioned people, please know that our parental hatred for you is purely circumstantial. It’s not you; it’s us… Actually, no… Scratch that… it’s totally you.

Jack-Nicholson

So who drives YOU crazy now that you are a parent? Feel free to continue the list in the comments!

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Featured Image by Artist & Illustrator Lisen Haglund

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10 Comments Add yours

  1. nhoderewski says:

    So. Much. YES. Seriously the topics you post hit the nail on the head girl !!

    Like

    1. TheRebelMama says:

      Thanks mama! For this piece… There was inspiration everywhere 😂

      Like

  2. Melanie says:

    I’m on a nission to rid the world of smelly perfume, so thank you!!! I don’t need the migraine. Everything else on the list is great too.

    Like

  3. Im dying this is hilarious

    Liked by 1 person

    1. TheRebelMama says:

      I’m so glad you can relate! 🙏🏼

      Like

  4. Rose says:

    Wow, you got it all figured out with the hate part. Okay, to add more to the cigarettes, can and water bottles… any sort of garbage, specially food.. my son will pick and say, ‘look mommy, food!’ And you just shake your head or scream ‘NO! don’t eat that.’

    And with the people who plans to come over and doesn’t show up or cancels on the last minutes… Wow. I spent a lot of time cleaning up and making food.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. TheRebelMama says:

      Why do our kids act as though we don’t feed them at home once we get to a park?? Sometimes I think they’re just messin’ with us 😆

      Like

  5. Laura L. says:

    Haha this is so true! I especially hate people who stand around and watch you struggle to get your stroller through 2 sets of doors and then expect *you* to hold the door for *them*.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Cv says:

    The neighbour who leaves his barking dog outside day and night, Through all naps and bedtimes, even though you’ve asked him at least a dozen times to bring the beast inside!

    Like

  7. Lindsay Herendeen says:

    Places that don’t have a changing table! Especially if they cater to families the least little bit…restaurants, coffeehouses, National Parks!

    Like

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