I didn’t cry.
Apparently you are supposed to? It’s fair to say I’m not an overly sensitive person, (although the odd baby-related commercial has been known to hydrate my eyeballs) but we were all so pumped and happy that I guess we forgot to be sentimental about the whole thing. Whoops?
He didn’t cry. 
Contrary to popular belief, not all kids hold onto your leg and scream when it comes time to enter the classroom for the first time. Anticipating this as a given is a waste of time because you may be one of the lucky parents (a.k.a. the majority) who drop their spawn off with little to no resistance.
Note: To the moms whose child(ren) participated in the kicking and screaming antics – Girl, our love for you is strong. Come in for a hug if you need.
I didn’t do a “First Day of J.K.” sign (and lived).
Did I miss this memo? Clearly I was ill-prepared. We snapped some fun backpack photos on the front porch, which we promptly sent off to family via WhatsApp, and called that a day. Does it mean I love my kid any less? Hell no. Crafting just didn’t fit into the priority list last week.
He’s not exhausted. 
What the actual FUCK. I thought the major perk of all this school stuff was that my kid was supposed to be struggling to stay awake past 6p.m. – yet here we are, having a snack and getting back out there to hurl through the city on a bike until bedtime. I’d like to take this time to thank Netflix for putting my son into a mild coma, thereby providing me with a solid 30 min window of after-school silence. #bless
He ate his lunch. 
Here I was worried that my pre-planned meals would come home sweaty and mixed and disgusting. But alas! My kid is plowing through it all. Perhaps the teachers are coaxing him? Maybe he’s just starving and doesn’t care what he eats because he had three bites of his breakfast? Doesn’t matter, I’m happy AF right now (and fully aware that a non-eating phase is probably just around the corner).
The parents are chiller than expected.
Ok, maybe it’s the neighbourhood but *hand to God* the parents that I have to make contact with in the school-trenches, are actually not that freakin’ bad! It seems we all have an affinity for good shades, strong coffee and not being judgy cows. Plus, there’s a weekly cocktail outing that doesn’t include husbands sooo…
Note: Again, I realize this is one week in, and it may all turn to shit by Christmas, but LET ME LIVE.
It’s actually not that hardcore.

The internet may worry you about leaving your previously-hand-held babe in the care of others (FOR A WHOLE ENTIRE DAY THAT FEELS LIKE 18HRS) but guess what? It’s basically glorified daycare. Their belongings are not lost, they are reminded to go to the bathroom, and they are safe.


Disclaimer: the point of this post is not to shame the crafty sign-makers, nor freak out the parents of lunch-time-protesters, the point is to remind you that EVERYONE’S EXPERIENCE IS INFINITELY DIFFERENT and stressing about the unknown on the basis of hearsay is a total waste of time. So relax babe. The kids are alright.


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