Over the past few days, we’ve started really tuning into the chatter around us in order to better understand what moms truly want (or, more specifically what they don’t want) to have happen on Mother’s Day.
We’ve been in a lot of situations recently where moms have been really straightforward about what their dudes do that drives them crazy on this most beloved “holiday”, and that got us thinking, I wonder if the men even know? Yikes, I don’t think they do know! Someone should tell them.
Alright, fine. We’ll tell them.
Dads, if you’re reading this – Hayyyyy! Congrats on your impeccable taste in websites.
Listen, we know you try and we know this is an adjustment for you too. We know that holidays seem to all be on steroids lately and it feels like we’re celebrating everything, all the time, x100000 – we get that – but Mother’s Day is a thing. It has been a long-running tradition and it’s always been one of the nicer traditions and as moms, we have an inexplicable emotional *thing* with it, o.k.? Just let us have this one.
Now, knowing that, we also get that Mother’s Day gets a little complicated for you guys once you have your own kids. Yes, it is a day designed for you to celebrate your own mom, as you’ve been doing for the past three (give or take) decades. But now there’s another lady that you’ve got to account for as well… you know – the one you knocked up. Remember her? Ya, she’s a mom too.
But don’t worry, Dads, your lady more than likely doesn’t want a parade. She’d probably be happy with a homemade card and a chance to sleep as late as she wants. But I trust that you know your lady and what she likes best. I’m not here to tell you what to do… I’m just here to let you know that there are some things your baby mama definitely DOES NOT want to have go down on Mother’s Day.
Read them. Internalize them. Plan accordingly. You will thank me on Monday, I promise.
1. She does not want to plan her own Mother’s Day*. I don’t think you guys realize the amount of logistics your girl deals with in the span of a day (especially pertaining to the spawn). Booking appointments, enrolling in classes, attending classes, planning play dates, hosting dinner parties… IT DOESN’T FUCKING END. The last thing your lady wants to do on Mother’s Day is plan the damn thing.
2. She doesn’t want to hang out with your mom. There are rare circumstances under which this could be untrue (if it is for you, then you, Sir, are a very lucky man), but for the most part, spending Mother’s Day watching you eat and nap at your parent’s house is not very high up on the list of things your girl wants to spend the day doing.
And if you’re thinking “Oh shit that’s totally my plan for Sunday”, then I’d like to mention that there IS an easy solution to this. Get up early, make coffee, bring it to your lady in bed, inform her that you’re taking the kids to visit your mom with you and you’re sending her out for a nice breakfast with her own mom while you’re there. Early dinner with you and the kids to follow. BAM. Killing it.
3. She doesn’t want you to sulk. If she’s done you a solid and given you an idea of how she’d like to spend the day, RUN WITH IT. And run with a smile. She wants to go to the botanical gardens? GO. Look at the flowers. Snap some cute pics of her and the kids without her looking. Be her willing sidekick for the day if that’s what you think will make her happy. If she has already made a plan, just go with it. Do whatever she wants. Do it happily.
4. She doesn’t want to be the one to implement traditions. Word to the wise: we fucking love traditions. Even if they’re incredibly simple. Something that can be warmly anticipated every year on Mother’s Day will make your lady’s heart sing. That being said, she doesn’t want to dictate what those traditions will look like.
Maybe it’s breakfast in bed, maybe it’s a family stroll to a favourite lunch spot, maybe it’s silly homemade hats and an annual dorky group selfie to follow. She literally doesn’t care. Just grab the kids, tell them what’s up and make it happen. Father’s day is just a month away and you know she’s going to pull some thoughtful shit off for you so slap on your thinking caps and hop to it!
Now, I know there are a lot of gems out there who don’t need to read shit like this; but I also know that there are a lot of gems out there who just legitimately DON’T KNOW that this is how moms feel about Mother’s Day – and honestly, I’m willing to give you guys a pass on it in a sense because you’re not moms. You’re not us and you’re not in our heads so anything we *wish* you knew, we should just TELL YOU, no?
And here’s the best part, guys – you can legitimately just pick ONE of the above things to implement and then just sit back and WATCH how much better the day gets. Watch how happy you can make your girl.
Here’s hoping that this will keep even a few out you out of the dog house on Sunday. And yes, that’s this Sunday. As in May 14th. As in the day after tomorrow.
WHATEVER YOU DO – PLEASE, DO NOT FORGET.
*this may not apply in extreme cases of Type-A Rebel Mamas. If that is the case in your household, continue to tip no.3.
Image via James Bond, “Goldfinger”, 1964.